Thursday, October 31, 2019

Topic Selection Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

Topic Selection - Essay Example visit to the branch and for this I need to create a list of employees that are working there and who would be in a position to give me information regarding the issues that they are facing. I can access the names of the people that I want to interview and I have to remember to tell them to keep the interview and the material that would be discussed in the interview confidential. As part of my interview process, I have to ensure that the company is meeting all its contractual obligations and that it is fulfilling the regulatory and compliance policies in this regard. This would include the questions about why the company is not paying employees for overtime and who is overseeing the employees at the branch office. These are the basic questions that I intend to seek answers for. Further, the question that why not all employees are complaining needs to be answered as well. As a HR manager, I have to find out if there are other reasons for employees quitting and since the process of attrition comes under the HR manager’s competency as well, I need to find out and take appropriate steps to stop the flow of employees leaving the organization. After I have framed the questions, I have to prepare a questionnaire of sorts and then take it to the employees of the branch office and get their answers to the same. Finally, as part of the researching assignment, I have to design surveys to be used by the employees. Now comes the part where I have to organize the material and this would require merging the answers from the employees by collating all the responses and then consolidating the information that is given in the surveys. I have to list down the problems that are being faced by the employees and then find the solutions for each. It would help if I can list down the problems in a bullet point format and create a matrix where the solutions are listed against the problems that have been described so far. After the surveys and the collection of data, I need to find

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

In which place have you felt most inspired and why Essay

In which place have you felt most inspired and why - Essay Example Lined up along side each another were tens of wooden bunk beds. Then he yelled again: "You!" pointing to one of my friends, "get inside that space" and he pointed towards the space between two bunk beds. Then he yelled again: "You—get in next to him!" And so he went on ordering six more of my friends into that space. When we thought it was too much, he just yelled: "Squeeze more!" Finally he stopped, and told my friends who were by now so cramped they couldnt breath, "Now turn to the other side." They were all squeezed in so tightly that turning was impossible. Finally he said: "I didnt turn for three years while I was here. It was cold, we were hungry, and even the most basic act such as turning in your sleep was impossible. It didnt matter if you were black or white, fat or skinny, slow or fast. We were all in the same bed, and NO one could turn." That was Auschwitz, and that was one of the most inspiring moments of my

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Factors Affecting Ethnic Minority Progression to University

Factors Affecting Ethnic Minority Progression to University It has been established that there is a very close connection between education attainment and upward social mobility (Ball 2010), hence, it is not unusual for ethnic minority to desire an upward social mobility and avoid discrimination in the work place, through the mechanism of obtaining higher qualification. However, this can be elusive as there are challenges that are capable of limiting the process or perhaps terminate the hope of obtaining higher qualifications. This commentary aims to discuss some the factors that affects the progression of ethnic minority children to higher education, in doing so attempt will be made at explaining the concept of race and ethnicity. Race and ethnicity Although it seems convenient to describe a person race based on certain physical characteristic, such as, colour of skin. However, there is no scientific basis for this classification, because there is no specific gene that distinguish a person of colour to white, classification is the based on people desire. According to Sternberg, Grigorenko et.al, the concept of race is not scientific but rather a social construct, it does not have any place in the genetic sequence (Sternberg, Grigorenko et al. 2005).ÂÂ   Even though, the concept of race is unscientific it does have factual consequences according to (Walters. 2012), as people face what is called racial discrimination, segregation among other things. In order to define ethnicity, it is vital to describe the characteristics makers of ethnic group, as well as determining if these characteristics are permanent (Cartrite 2003). Defining ethnicity is a complicated issue, as there is no consensus among political scientist as to what the makeup of an ethnic group is (Cartrite 2003). Ethnic group refers to a social group that share common and distinctive culture, religion, language, ancestry or the like (Dictionary.com). Ethnic minority denotes a group of people distinguished from the social mainstream, those who hold the majority spots of social supremacy in a society, and possibly will be definite by law (Wikipedia). The classification is based on some of the characteristic described in the definition of Ethnic grouping.ÂÂ   Ethnic group in the UK according to 2001 are white, black, Asian, mixed, Chinese and other. The word race and ethnicity are commonly used interchangeably, but they do not mean the same thing, as said earlier race is an artificial concept with factual reality, while ethnic group might be a real concept. Race equality and education policy The government have put in place a number of policy to address the issues relating to race, equality and education as it relates to ethnic minority. However, the wording of some of the policy are problematic, for example 1976 Race Equality Act, because it sounds like it is promoting a concept that is designed to crate division. The 1976 Race equality act makes it unlawful for any school to discriminate against any pupil because of their ethnic background as well as Crate Commission for Racial Equality (CRE). This was in attempt to stop the exclusion ethnic minority from education. In 1985 the swan report make recommendation that the inclusion of multicultural perspective in the curriculum in all the schools (Swann 1985). 2004 Higher Education Act Introduces further changes that offer more support particularly to students from lower economic background, this is to allow those children from poor social economic background go into university (Barr 2004). Various policies brought in by t he government to limit discrimination and encourage Ethnic Minority participation in education are not sufficient and has not eliminated the fear of going into debt among ethnic minority. Afro- Caribbean (AC) education experiences It is worth noting that most journals and articles tend to concentrate on concentrate on AC as the ethnic minority, according to department of education black Caribbean are 3 to 4 times likely to be excluded from school. AC often have problematic connection with teachers in school, as they are seen as threatening. They tend to apply to higher education while in employment at an older age compared to their white counterparts (Stoll, Bolam et al. 2006). According to the system every Child is important, however, the failure and social exclusion of Black children is a norm which suggest that they matter, but not as much. It might be necessary to employ personalisation so as to enable Black pupils to fulfil their real potential, this will not be possible as long as teachers opinion is formed by hidden bias (Stoll, Bolam et al. 2006) Key factors affecting the progression of ethnic minority into higher education language barrier Favourable cultural capital can be traded for more prospects.The most valued cultural capital is usually linked to that which prevailed in society which is a source of social inequality (Szeman and Kaposy 2010). Some ethnic minority may not be opportune to possess the cultural capitals that are valued in society, most migrant parent ideally has foreign cultural capital and probably poor English, that may result in low expectation and wages. However, the real problem is that universities tend to not that into account other cultural capitals (Dickinson, Griffith et al. 2012). Aspiration This is the key to success as it determines engagement and efforts. Due to high aspiration ethnic minority children tend to remain in full time education beyond the age of 16 in compares to their white counter part (Owen, Green et al. 2000). According to Connor et al, ethnic minority children punch above their weight when their percentage representative in university is compared to that of the general population (Connor, Tyers et al. 2004), It can be said that high aspiration among ethnic minority is responsible for this, because according to a study by university of Bristol 90 % of ethnic minority children aspire to stay in education beyond the age of 16 compared to 80% of their white counterpart (Wilson, Burgess et al. 2006) Social economic factor Poverty does reduce the chances of doing well in school, hence, cost and fear being in debt can be a factors capable of limiting ethnic minority progression into higher education. ethnic minority child that comes from a poor social economic background does face an uphill battle of trying to avoid getting into debt as a result of going into university. Due to their social economic background it is quite possible for their parents to not to be educated themselves, hence, they may not understand the value of education. conclusion although there are numerous factors that have the potential of limiting ethnic minority children from progressing into higher education, but there is no sufficient evidence to suggest that any of the factors, is a deterrent individually, however their collective effect is yet to be determined, it is also worth mentioning that high aspiration tend to be a major factor that enhances their chance of progression. According to Gillborn (2008) underachievement among ethnic minority may be caused by inadequate cognizance of policy-makers concerning the outcome specific policies will have groups References Ball, S. J. (2010). New class inequalities in education: Why education policy may be looking in the wrong place! Education policy, civil society and social class. International Journal of Sociology and Social Policy 30(3/4): 155-166. Barr, N. (2004). Higher education funding. Oxford review of economic policy 20(2): 264-283. Cartrite, B. (2003). Reclaiming their shadow: Ethnopolitical mobilization in consolidated democracies. Connor, H., et al. (2004). Why the difference? A closer look at higher education minority ethnic students and graduates. Institute for Employment Studies research report(552). Dickinson, D. K., et al. (2012). How reading books fosters language development around the world. Child Development Research 2012. Owen, D., et al. (2000). Minority ethnic participation and achievements in education, training and the labour market, DfEE Publications. Sternberg, R. J., et al. (2005). Intelligence, race, and genetics. American Psychologist 60(1): 46. Stoll, L., et al. (2006). Professional learning communities: A review of the literature. Journal of educational change 7(4): 221-258. Swann, B. M. S. (1985). Education for all: The report of the committee of inquiry into the education of children from ethnic minority groups, HMSO. Szeman, I. and T. Kaposy (2010). Cultural theory: an anthology, John Wiley Sons. Wilson, D., et al. (2006). The dynamics of school attainment of Englands ethnic minorities.

Friday, October 25, 2019

Essay --

Daphne was Apollo's first love. It was not brought about by accident, but by the malice of Cupid. Apollo saw the boy playing with his bow and arrows; and being himself elated with his recent victory over Python, he said to him, "What have you to do with warlike weapons, saucy boy? Leave them for hands worthy of them, Behold the conquest I have won by means of them over the vast serpent who stretched his poisonous body over acres of the plain! Be content with your torch, child, and kindle up your flames, as you call them, where you will, but presume not to meddle with my weapons." Venus's boy heard these words, and rejoined, "Your arrows may strike all things else, Apollo, but mine shall strike you." So saying, he took his stand on a rock of Parnassus, and drew from his quiver two arrows of different workmanship, one to excite love, the other to repel it. The former was of gold and sharp pointed, the latter blunt and tipped with lead. With the leaden shaft he struck the nymph Daphne, the daughter of the river god Peneus, and with the golden one Apollo, through the heart. Forthwith the god was seized with love for the maiden, and she abhorred the thought of loving. Her delight was in woodland sports and in the spoils of the chase. lovers sought her, but she spurned them all, ranging the woods, and taking no thought of Cupid nor of Hymen. Her father often said to her, "Daughter, you owe me a son-in-law; you owe me grandchildren." She, hating the thought of marriage as a crime, with her beautiful face tinged all over with blushes, threw her arms around her father's neck, and said, "Dearest father, grant me this favour, that I may always remain unmarried, like Diana." He consented, but at the same time said, "Your own face will forbid ... ...ll her limbs; her bosom began to be enclosed in a tender bark; her hair became leaves; her arms became branches; her foot stuck fast in the ground, as a root; her face became a tree-top, retaining nothing of its former self but its beauty, Apollo stood amazed. He touched the stem, and felt the flesh tremble under the new bark. He embraced the branches, and lavished kisses on the wood. The branches shrank from his lips. "Since you cannot be my wife," said he, "you shall assuredly be my tree. I will wear you for my crown; I will decorate with you my harp and my quiver; and when the great Roman conquerors lead up the triumphal pomp to the Capitol, you shall be woven into wreaths for their brows. And, as eternal youth is mine, you also shall be always green, and your leaf know no decay." The nymph, now changed into a Laurel tree, bowed its head in grateful acknowledgment

Thursday, October 24, 2019

We Are Becoming Increasingly Dependent on Computer Technology

As we move into the twenty-first century, it is clear to see that we have become more and more dependent on computers and information technology. This technology now reaches into almost every area of our lives and it is easy to predict that this phenomenon is only going to grow. My personal belief is that this presents a variety of dangers. It is highly likely that in the future there will be comparatively few aspects of our lives that will not be influenced by computer technology.The probability is that it will control more and more forms of communication, transforming fields such as education and business when video-conferencing platforms become more stable. It might even affect romance with more people forming relationships online. While there may be benefits to this technological revolution, there are also a number of potential dangers. Perhaps the most serious of these would be that if people rely on computers too much for communication, they could in fact begin to communicate l ess well.For example, if every member of a family had their own computer screen and smart phone, they might speak less and less often to one another and simply look at a screen. This would be serious because our ability to communicate is an essential part of our humanity. My conclusion is that the growth of computer technology is inevitable, but that this may not be entirely positive. Just one area in which it is possible to foresee dangers is communication, and if we are going to ensure that computers do not become a negative influence, we need to think carefully how we use them. (273 words)

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Twilight 12. BALANCING

12. BALANCING â€Å"Billy!† Charlie called as soon as he got out of the car. I turned toward the house, beckoning to Jacob as I ducked under the porch. I heard Charlie greeting them loudly behind me. â€Å"I'm going to pretend I didn't see you behind the wheel, Jake,† he said disapprovingly. â€Å"We get permits early on the rez,† Jacob said while I unlocked the door and flicked on the porch light. â€Å"Sure you do,† Charlie laughed. â€Å"I have to get around somehow.† I recognized Billy's resonant voice easily, despite the years. The sound of it made me feel suddenly younger, a child. I went inside, leaving the door open behind me and turning on lights before I hung up my jacket. Then I stood in the door, watching anxiously as Charlie and Jacob helped Billy out of the car and into his wheelchair. I backed out of the way as the three of them hurried in, shaking off the rain. â€Å"This is a surprise,† Charlie was saying. â€Å"It's been too long,† Billy answered. â€Å"I hope it's not a bad time.† His dark eyes flashed up to me again, their expression unreadable. â€Å"No, it's great. I hope you can stay for the game.† Jacob grinned. â€Å"I think that's the plan – our TV broke last week.† Billy made a face at his son. â€Å"And, of course, Jacob was anxious to see Bella again,† he added. Jacob scowled and ducked his head while I fought back a surge of remorse. Maybe I'd been too convincing on the beach. â€Å"Are you hungry?† I asked, turning toward the kitchen. I was eager to escape Billy's searching gaze. â€Å"Naw, we ate just before we came,† Jacob answered. â€Å"How about you, Charlie?† I called over my shoulder as I fled around the corner. â€Å"Sure,† he replied, his voice moving in the direction of the front room and the TV. I could hear Billy's chair follow. The grilled cheese sandwiches were in the frying pan and I was slicing up a tomato when I sensed someone behind me. â€Å"So, how are things?† Jacob asked. â€Å"Pretty good.† I smiled. His enthusiasm was hard to resist. â€Å"How about you? Did you finish your car?† â€Å"No.† He frowned. â€Å"I still need parts. We borrowed that one.† He pointed with his thumb in the direction of the front yard. â€Å"Sorry. I haven't seen any†¦ what was it you were looking for?† â€Å"Master cylinder.† He grinned. â€Å"Is something wrong with the truck?† he added suddenly. â€Å"No.† â€Å"Oh. I just wondered because you weren't driving it.† I stared down at the pan, pulling up the edge of a sandwich to check the bottom side. â€Å"I got a ride with a friend.† â€Å"Nice ride.† Jacob's voice was admiring. â€Å"I didn't recognize the driver, though. I thought I knew most of the kids around here.† I nodded noncommittally, keeping my eyes down as I flipped sandwiches. â€Å"My dad seemed to know him from somewhere.† â€Å"Jacob, could you hand me some plates? They're in the cupboard over the sink.† â€Å"Sure.† He got the plates in silence. I hoped he would let it drop now. â€Å"So who was it?† he asked, setting two plates on the counter next to me. I sighed in defeat. â€Å"Edward Cullen.† To my surprise, he laughed. I glanced up at him. He looked a little embarrassed. â€Å"Guess that explains it, then,† he said. â€Å"I wondered why my dad was acting so strange.† â€Å"That's right.† I faked an innocent expression. â€Å"He doesn't like the Cullens.† â€Å"Superstitious old man,† Jacob muttered under his breath. â€Å"You don't think he'd say anything to Charlie?† I couldn't help asking, the words coming out in a low rush. Jacob stared at me for a moment, and I couldn't read the expression in his dark eyes. â€Å"I doubt it,† he finally answered. â€Å"I think Charlie chewed him out pretty good last time. They haven't spoken much since – tonight is sort of a reunion, I think. I don't think he'd bring it up again.† â€Å"Oh,† I said, trying to sound indifferent. I stayed in the front room after I carried the food out to Charlie, pretending to watch the game while Jacob chattered at me. I was really listening to the men's conversation, watching for any sign that Billy was about to rat me out, trying to think of ways to stop him if he began. It was a long night. I had a lot of homework that was going undone, but I was afraid to leave Billy alone with Charlie. Finally, the game ended. â€Å"Are you and your friends coming back to the beach soon?† Jacob asked as he pushed his father over the lip of the threshold. â€Å"I'm not sure,† I hedged. â€Å"That was fun, Charlie,† Billy said. â€Å"Come up for the next game,† Charlie encouraged. â€Å"Sure, sure,† Billy said. â€Å"We'll be here. Have a good night.† His eyes shifted to mine, and his smile disappeared. â€Å"You take care, Bella,† he added seriously. â€Å"Thanks,† I muttered, looking away. I headed for the stairs while Charlie waved from the doorway. â€Å"Wait, Bella,† he said. I cringed. Had Billy gotten something in before I'd joined them in the living room? But Charlie was relaxed, still grinning from the unexpected visit. â€Å"I didn't get a chance to talk to you tonight. How was your day?† â€Å"Good.† I hesitated with one foot on the first stair, searching for details I could safely share. â€Å"My badminton team won all four games.† â€Å"Wow, I didn't know you could play badminton.† â€Å"Well, actually I can't, but my partner is really good,† I admitted. â€Å"Who is it?† he asked with token interest. â€Å"Um†¦ Mike Newton,† I told him reluctantly. â€Å"Oh yeah – you said you were friends with the Newton kid.† He perked up. â€Å"Nice family.† He mused for a minute. â€Å"Why didn't you ask him to the dance this weekend?† â€Å"Dad!† I groaned. â€Å"He's kind of dating my friend Jessica. Besides, you know I can't dance.† â€Å"Oh yeah,† he muttered. Then he smiled at me apologetically. â€Å"So I guess it's good you'll be gone Saturday†¦ I've made plans to go fishing with the guys from the station. The weather's supposed to be real warm. But if you wanted to put your trip off till someone could go with you, I'd stay home. I know I leave you here alone too much.† â€Å"Dad, you're doing a great job.† I smiled, hoping my relief didn't show. â€Å"I've never minded being alone – I'm too much like you.† I winked at him, and he smiled his crinkly-eyed smile. I slept better that night, too tired to dream again. When I woke to the pearl gray morning, my mood was blissful. The tense evening with Billy and Jacob seemed harmless enough now; I decided to forget it completely. I caught myself whistling while I was pulling the front part of my hair back into a barrette, and later again as I skipped down the stairs. Charlie noticed. â€Å"You're cheerful this morning,† he commented over breakfast. I shrugged. â€Å"It's Friday.† I hurried so I would be ready to go the second Charlie left. I had my bag ready, shoes on, teeth brushed, but even though I rushed to the door as soon as I was sure Charlie would be out of sight, Edward was faster. He was waiting in his shiny car, windows down, engine off. I didn't hesitate this time, climbing in the passenger side quickly, the sooner to see his face. He grinned his crooked smile at me, stopping my breath and my heart. I couldn't imagine how an angel could be any more glorious. There was nothing about him that could be improved upon. â€Å"How did you sleep?† he asked. I wondered if he had any idea how appealing his voice was. â€Å"Fine. How was your night?† â€Å"Pleasant.† His smile was amused; I felt like I was missing an inside joke. â€Å"Can I ask what you did?† I asked. â€Å"No.† He grinned. â€Å"Today is still mine.† He wanted to know about people today: more about Ren? ¦e, her hobbies, what we'd done in our free time together. And then the one grandmother I'd known, my few school friends – embarrassing me when he asked about boys I'd dated. I was relieved that I'd never really dated anyone, so that particular conversation couldn't last long. He seemed as surprised as Jessica and Angela by my lack of romantic history. â€Å"So you never met anyone you wanted?† he asked in a serious tone that made me wonder what he was thinking about. I was grudgingly honest. â€Å"Not in Phoenix.† His lips pressed together into a hard line. We were in the cafeteria at this point. The day had sped by in the blur that was rapidly becoming routine. I took advantage of his brief pause to take a bite of my bagel. â€Å"I should have let you drive yourself today,† he announced, apropos of nothing, while I chewed. â€Å"Why?† I demanded. â€Å"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch.† â€Å"Oh.† I blinked, bewildered and disappointed. â€Å"That's okay, it's not that far of a walk.† He frowned at me impatiently. â€Å"I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you.† â€Å"I don't have my key with me,† I sighed. â€Å"I really don't mind walking.† What I minded was losing my time with him. He shook his head. â€Å"Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition – unless you're afraid someone might steal it.† He laughed at the thought. â€Å"All right,† I agreed, pursing my lips. I was pretty sure my key was in the pocket of a pair of jeans I wore Wednesday, under a pile of clothes in the laundry room. Even if he broke into my house, or whatever he was planning, he'd never find it. He seemed to feel the challenge in my consent. He smirked, overconfident. â€Å"So where are you going?† I asked as casually as I could manage. â€Å"Hunting,† he answered grimly. â€Å"If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can.† His face grew morose†¦ and pleading. â€Å"You can always cancel, you know.† I looked down, afraid of the persuasive power of his eyes. I refused to be convinced to fear him, no matter how real the danger might be. It doesn't matter, I repeated in my head. â€Å"No,† I whispered, glancing back at his face. â€Å"I can't.† â€Å"Perhaps you're right,† he murmured bleakly. His eyes seemed to darken in color as I watched. I changed the subject. â€Å"What time will I see you tomorrow?† I asked, already depressed by the thought of him leaving now. â€Å"That depends†¦ it's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?† he offered. â€Å"No,† I answered too fast. He restrained a smile. â€Å"The same time as usual, then,† he decided. â€Å"Will Charlie be there?† â€Å"No, he's fishing tomorrow.† I beamed at the memory of how conveniently things had worked out. His voice turned sharp. â€Å"And if you don't come home, what will he think?† â€Å"I have no idea,† I answered coolly. â€Å"He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer.† He scowled at me and I scowled back. His anger was much more impressive than mine. â€Å"What are you hunting tonight?† I asked when I was sure I had lost the glowering contest. â€Å"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far.† He seemed bemused by my casual reference to his secret realities. â€Å"Why are you going with Alice?† I wondered. â€Å"Alice is the most†¦ supportive.† He frowned as he spoke. â€Å"And the others?† I asked timidly. â€Å"What are they?† His brow puckered for a brief moment. â€Å"Incredulous, for the most part.† I peeked quickly behind me at his family. They sat staring off in different directions, exactly the same as the first time I'd seen them. Only now they were four; their beautiful, bronze-haired brother sat across from me, his golden eyes troubled. â€Å"They don't like me,† I guessed. â€Å"That's not it,† he disagreed, but his eyes were too innocent. â€Å"They don't understand why I can't leave you alone.† I grimaced. â€Å"Neither do I, for that matter.† Edward shook his head slowly, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling before he met my gaze again. â€Å"I told you – you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me.† I glared at him, sure he was teasing now. He smiled as he deciphered my expression. â€Å"Having the advantages I do,† he murmured, touching his forehead discreetly, â€Å"I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you†¦ you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise.† I looked away, my eyes wandering back to his family, embarrassed and dissatisfied. His words made me feel like a science experiment. I wanted to laugh at myself for expecting anything else. â€Å"That part is easy enough to explain,† he continued. I felt his eyes on my face but I couldn't look at him yet, afraid he might read the chagrin in my eyes. â€Å"But there's more†¦ and it's not so easy to put into words -â€Å" I was still staring at the Cullens while he spoke. Suddenly Rosalie, his blond and breathtaking sister, turned to look at me. No, not to look – to glare, with dark, cold eyes. I wanted to look away, but her gaze held me until Edward broke off mid-sentence and made an angry noise under his breath. It was almost a hiss. Rosalie turned her head, and I was relieved to be free. I looked back at Edward – and I knew he could see the confusion and fear that widened my eyes. His face was tight as he explained. â€Å"I'm sorry about that. She's just worried. You see†¦ it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly†¦Ã¢â‚¬  He looked down. â€Å"If?† â€Å"If this ends†¦ badly.† He dropped his head into his hands, as he had that night in Port Angeles. His anguish was plain; I yearned to comfort him, but I was at a loss to know how. My hand reached toward him involuntarily; quickly, though, I dropped it to the table, fearing that my touch would only make things worse. I realized slowly that his words should frighten me. I waited for that fear to come, but all I could seem to feel was an ache for his pain. And frustration – frustration that Rosalie had interrupted whatever he was about to say. I didn't know how to bring it up again. He still had his head in his hands. I tried to speak in a normal voice. â€Å"And you have to leave now?† â€Å"Yes.† He raised his face; it was serious for a moment, and then his mood shifted and he smiled. â€Å"It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology – I don't think I could take any more.† I started. Alice – her short, inky hair in a halo of spiky disarray around her exquisite, elfin face – was suddenly standing behind his shoulder. Her slight frame was willowy, graceful even in absolute stillness. He greeted her without looking away from me. â€Å"Alice.† â€Å"Edward,† she answered, her high soprano voice almost as attractive as his. â€Å"Alice, Bella – Bella, Alice,† he introduced us, gesturing casually with his hand, a wry smile on his face. â€Å"Hello, Bella.† Her brilliant obsidian eyes were unreadable, but her smile was friendly. â€Å"It's nice to finally meet you.† Edward flashed a dark look at her. â€Å"Hi, Alice,† I murmured shyly. â€Å"Are you ready?† she asked him. His voice was aloof. â€Å"Nearly. I'll meet you at the car.† She left without another word; her walk was so fluid, so sinuous that I felt a sharp pang of jealousy. â€Å"Should I say ‘have fun,' or is that the wrong sentiment?† I asked, turning back to him. â€Å"No, ‘have fun' works as well as anything.† He grinned. â€Å"Have fun, then.† I worked to sound wholehearted. Of course I didn't fool him. â€Å"I'll try.† He still grinned. â€Å"And you try to be safe, please.† â€Å"Safe in Forks – what a challenge.† â€Å"For you it is a challenge.† His jaw hardened. â€Å"Promise.† â€Å"I promise to try to be safe,† I recited. â€Å"I'll do the laundry tonight – that ought to be fraught with peril.† â€Å"Don't fall in,† he mocked. â€Å"I'll do my best.† He stood then, and I rose, too. â€Å"I'll see you tomorrow,† I sighed. â€Å"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?† he mused. I nodded glumly. â€Å"I'll be there in the morning,† he promised, smiling his crooked smile. He reached across the table to touch my face, lightly brushing along my cheekbone again. Then he turned and walked away. I stared after him until he was gone. I was sorely tempted to ditch the rest of the day, at the very least Gym, but a warning instinct stopped me. I knew that if I disappeared now, Mike and others would assume I was with Edward. And Edward was worried about the time we'd spent together publicly†¦ if things went wrong. I refused to dwell on the last thought, concentrating instead on making things safer for him. I intuitively knew – and sensed he did, too – that tomorrow would be pivotal. Our relationship couldn't continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts. My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility. I went to class, feeling dutiful. I couldn't honestly say what happened in Biology; my mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of tomorrow. In Gym, Mike was speaking to me again; he wished me a good time in Seattle. I carefully explained that I'd canceled my trip, worried about my truck. â€Å"Are you going to the dance with Cullen?† he asked, suddenly sulky. â€Å"No, I'm not going to the dance at all.† â€Å"What are you doing, then?† he asked, too interested. My natural urge was to tell him to butt out. Instead, I lied brightly. â€Å"Laundry, and then I have to study for the Trig test or I'm going to fail.† â€Å"Is Cullen helping you study?† â€Å"Edward,† I emphasized, â€Å"is not going to help me study. He's gone away somewhere for the weekend.† The lies came more naturally than usual, I noted with surprise. â€Å"Oh.† He perked up. â€Å"You know, you could come to the dance with our group anyway – that would be cool. We'd all dance with you,† he promised. The mental image of Jessica's face made my tone sharper than necessary. â€Å"I'm not going to the dance, Mike, okay?† â€Å"Fine.† He sulked again. â€Å"I was just offering.† When the school day had finally ended, I walked to the parking lot without enthusiasm. I did not especially want to walk home, but I couldn't see how he would have retrieved my truck. Then again, I was starting to believe that nothing was impossible for him. The latter instinct proved correct – my truck sat in the same space he'd parked his Volvo in this morning. I shook my head, incredulous, as I opened the unlocked door and saw the key in the ignition. There was a piece of white paper folded on my seat. I got in and closed the door before I unfolded it. Two words were written in his elegant script. Be safe. The sound of the truck roaring to life frightened me. I laughed at myself. When I got home, the handle of the door was locked, the dead bolt unlocked, just as I'd left it this morning. Inside, I went straight to the laundry room. It looked just the same as I'd left it, too. I dug for my jeans and, after finding them, checked the pockets. Empty. Maybe I'd hung my key up after all, I thought, shaking my head. Following the same instinct that had prompted me to lie to Mike, I called Jessica on the pretense of wishing her luck at the dance. When she offered the same wish for my day with Edward, I told her about the cancellation. She was more disappointed than really necessary for a third-party observer to be. I said goodbye quickly after that. Charlie was absentminded at dinner, worried over something at work, I guessed, or maybe a basketball game, or maybe he was just really enjoying the lasagna – it was hard to tell with Charlie. â€Å"You know, Dad†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I began, breaking into his reverie. â€Å"What's that, Bell?† â€Å"I think you're right about Seattle. I think I'll wait until Jessica or someone else can go with me.† â€Å"Oh,† he said, surprised. â€Å"Oh, okay. So, do you want me to stay home?† â€Å"No, Dad, don't change your plans. I've got a million things to do†¦ homework, laundry†¦ I need to go to the library and the grocery store. I'll be in and out all day†¦ you go and have fun.† â€Å"Are you sure?† â€Å"Absolutely, Dad. Besides, the freezer is getting dangerously low on fish – we're down to a two, maybe three years' supply.† â€Å"You're sure easy to live with, Bella.† He smiled. â€Å"I could say the same thing about you,† I said, laughing. The sound of my laughter was off, but he didn't seem to notice. I felt so guilty for deceiving him that I almost took Edward's advice and told him where I would be. Almost. After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made my choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words he'd written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice – to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I'd come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him. But a tiny voice in the back of my mind worried, wondering if it would hurt very much†¦ if it ended badly. I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I'd never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine – the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldn't condone that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else. While I waited for the drugs to kick in, I dried my clean hair till it was impeccably straight, and fussed over what I would wear tomorrow. With everything ready for the morning, I finally lay in my bed. I felt hyper; I couldn't stop twitching. I got up and rifled through my shoebox of CDs until I found a collection of Chopin's nocturnes. I put that on very quietly and then lay down again, concentrating on relaxing individual parts of my body. Somewhere in the middle of that exercise, the cold pills took effect, and I gladly sank into unconsciousness. I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use. Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before. I dressed in a rush, smoothing my collar against my neck, fidgeting with the tan sweater till it hung right over my jeans. I sneaked a swift look out the window to see that Charlie was already gone. A thin, cottony layer of clouds veiled the sky. They didn't look very lasting. I ate breakfast without tasting the food, hurrying to clean up when I was done. I peeked out the window again, but nothing had changed. I had just finished brushing my teeth and was heading back downstairs when a quiet knock sent my heart thudding against my rib cage. I flew to the door; I had a little trouble with the simple dead bolt, but I yanked the door open at last, and there he was. All the agitation dissolved as soon as I looked at his face, calm taking its place. I breathed a sigh of relief – yesterday's fears seemed very foolish with him here. He wasn't smiling at first – his face was somber. But then his expression lightened as he looked me over, and he laughed. â€Å"Good morning,† he chuckled. â€Å"What's wrong?† I glanced down to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything important, like shoes, or pants. â€Å"We match.† He laughed again. I realized he had a long, light tan sweater on, with a white collar showing underneath, and blue jeans. I laughed with him, hiding a secret twinge of regret – why did he have to look like a runway model when I couldn't? I locked the door behind me while he walked to the truck. He waited by the passenger door with a martyred expression that was easy to understand. â€Å"We made a deal,† I reminded him smugly, climbing into the driver's seat, and reaching over to unlock his door. â€Å"Where to?† I asked. â€Å"Put your seat belt on – I'm nervous already.† I gave him a dirty look as I complied. â€Å"Where to?† I repeated with a sigh. â€Å"Take the one-oh-one north,† he ordered. It was surprisingly difficult to concentrate on the road while feeling his gaze on my face. I compensated by driving more carefully than usual through the still-sleeping town. â€Å"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?† â€Å"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather – have some respect,† I retorted. We were soon out of the town limits, despite his negativity. Thick underbrush and green-swathed trunks replaced the lawns and houses. â€Å"Turn right on the one-ten,† he instructed just as I was about to ask. I obeyed silently. â€Å"Now we drive until the pavement ends.† I could hear a smile in his voice, but I was too afraid of driving off the road and proving him right to look over and be sure. â€Å"And what's there, at the pavement's end?† I wondered. â€Å"A trail.† â€Å"We're hiking?† Thank goodness I'd worn tennis shoes. â€Å"Is that a problem?† He sounded as if he'd expected as much. â€Å"No.† I tried to make the lie sound confident. But if he thought my truck was slow†¦ â€Å"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry.† Five miles. I didn't answer, so that he wouldn't hear my voice crack in panic. Five miles of treacherous roots and loose stones, trying to twist my ankles or otherwise incapacitate me. This was going to be humiliating. We drove in silence for a while as I contemplated the coming horror. â€Å"What are you thinking?† he asked impatiently after a few moments. I lied again. â€Å"Just wondering where we're going.† â€Å"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice.† We both glanced out the windows at the thinning clouds after he spoke. â€Å"Charlie said it would be warm today.† â€Å"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?† he asked. â€Å"Nope.† â€Å"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?† He seemed cheered by the idea. â€Å"No, I told her you canceled on me – which is true.† â€Å"No one knows you're with me?† Angrily, now. â€Å"That depends†¦ I assume you told Alice?† â€Å"That's very helpful, Bella,† he snapped. I pretended I didn't hear that. â€Å"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?† he demanded when I ignored him. â€Å"You said it might cause trouble for you†¦ us being together publicly,† I reminded him. â€Å"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me- if you don't come home?† His voice was still angry, and bitingly sarcastic. I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road. He muttered something under his breath, speaking so quickly that I couldn't understand. We were silent for the rest of the drive. I could feel the waves of infuriated disapproval rolling off of him, and I could think of nothing to say. And then the road ended, constricting to a thin foot trail with a small wooden marker. I parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out, afraid because he was angry with me and I didn't have driving as an excuse not to look at him. It was warm now, warmer than it had been in Forks since the day I'd arrived, almost muggy under the clouds. I pulled off my sweater and knotted it around my waist, glad that I'd worn the light, sleeveless shirt – especially if I had five miles of hiking ahead of me. I heard his door slam, and looked over to see that he'd removed his sweater, too. He was facing away from me, into the unbroken forest beside my truck. â€Å"This way,† he said, glancing over his shoulder at me, eyes still annoyed. He started into the dark forest. â€Å"The trail?† Panic was clear in my voice as I hurried around the truck to catch up to him. â€Å"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it.† â€Å"No trail?† I asked desperately. â€Å"I won't let you get lost.† He turned then, with a mocking smile, and I stifled a gasp. His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes. He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing stab of despair. There was no way this godlike creature could be meant for me. He stared at me, bewildered by my tortured expression. â€Å"Do you want to go home?† he said quietly, a different pain than mine saturating his voice. â€Å"No.† I walked forward till I was close beside him, anxious not to waste one second of whatever time I might have with him. â€Å"What's wrong?† he asked, his voice gentle. â€Å"I'm not a good hiker,† I answered dully. â€Å"You'll have to be very patient.† â€Å"I can be patient – if I make a great effort.† He smiled, holding my glance, trying to lift me out of my sudden, unexplained dejection. I tried to smile back, but the smile was unconvincing. He scrutinized my face. â€Å"I'll take you home,† he promised. I couldn't tell if the promise was unconditional, or restricted to an immediate departure. I knew he thought it was fear that upset me, and I was grateful again that I was the one person whose mind he couldn't hear. â€Å"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way,† I said acidly. He frowned at me, struggling to understand my tone and expression. He gave up after a moment and led the way into the forest. It wasn't as hard as I had feared. The way was mostly flat, and he held the damp ferns and webs of moss aside for me. When his straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, he would help me, lifting me by the elbow, and then releasing me instantly when I was clear. His cold touch on my skin never failed to make my heart thud erratically. Twice, when that happened, I caught a look on his face that made me sure he could somehow hear it. I tried to keep my eyes away from his perfection as much as possible, but I slipped often. Each time, his beauty pierced me through with sadness. For the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally he would ask a random question that he hadn't gotten to in the past two days of interrogation. He asked about my birthdays, my grade school teachers, my childhood pets – and I had to admit that after killing three fish in a row, I'd given up on the whole institution. He laughed at that, louder than I was used to – bell-like echoes bouncing back to us from the empty woods. The hike took me most of the morning, but he never showed any sign of impatience. The forest spread out around us in a boundless labyrinth of ancient trees, and I began to be nervous that we would never find our way out again. He was perfectly at ease, comfortable in the green maze, never seeming to feel any doubt about our direction. After several hours, the light that filtered through the canopy transformed, the murky olive tone shifting to a brighter jade. The day had turned sunny, just as he'd foretold. For the first time since we'd entered the woods, I felt a thrill of excitement – which quickly turned to impatience. â€Å"Are we there yet?† I teased, pretending to scowl. â€Å"Nearly.† He smiled at the change in my mood. â€Å"Do you see the brightness ahead?† I peered into the thick forest. â€Å"Um, should I?† He smirked. â€Å"Maybe it's a bit soon for your eyes.† â€Å"Time to visit the optometrist,† I muttered. His smirk grew more pronounced. But then, after another hundred yards, I could definitely see a lightening in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. I picked up the pace, my eagerness growing with every step. He let me lead now, following noiselessly. I reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns into the loveliest place I had ever seen. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers – violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the bubbling music of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. I walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air. I halfway turned, wanting to share this with him, but he wasn't behind me where I thought he'd be. I spun around, searching for him with sudden alarm. Finally I spotted him, still under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow, watching me with cautious eyes. Only then did I remember what the beauty of the meadow had driven from my mind – the enigma of Edward and the sun, which he'd promised to illustrate for me today. I took a step back toward him, my eyes alight with curiosity. His eyes were wary, reluctant. I smiled encouragingly and beckoned to him with my hand, taking another step back to him. He held up a hand in warning, and I hesitated, rocking back onto my heels. Edward seemed to take a deep breath, and then he stepped out into the bright glow of the midday sun.